New Age Marri-age

Here’s welcoming you all to the crazy me :). Today I try in this effort of mine, to explore a territory which no one has ever tried to explore before. Just kidding... :) Millions and billions have already tried and got their hands, legs and what not dirty and maybe I just intent to make fun of it. This territory, they call marriage ceremonies. In these times where everything from life to death is influenced by technology, my imagination takes a crazy twist to explore a “what if”... Yes, what if our present day marriage ceremonies were to be completely, or if not completely, crazily influenced by technology. What if people were so crazy that marriages would turn bizarrely online?

Since this is about crazy people and their crazy efforts, who better a protagonist for this bull crap than yours truly... :). So I finally decide to get married and the D-Day finally arrives. Just, for your reference here, let me tell you that I have invited gazzilion people, but have specifically asked none of them to turn up physically for the wedding. I want my wedding ceremony to be streamed live on YouTube. Yes, YouTube... That way, no one needs to make an effort to get up really early in the morning of the wedding and curse the bride and the groom for it. Get up only at the time of the main ceremony, come online, login and voila..... you have my marriage ceremony live on YouTube being streamed to your desktop screens. How convenient.... you could save a fortune, from effort to petrol and new clothes and of course, the best part... avoid highly irritating relatives

After the main ceremonies, it’s time for gifts, This is where you login to eBay and order gifts for the new weds. And please do not forget, the shipping address is the address of either the bride or me depending on whose family you are from or otherwise depending on whom you can tolerate more out of the two.

Now that you have got the gifts shipped to us, you also need to give your blessings to us. Hmmmm... No effort at all.. GTalk, Skype, Yahoo Messenger, Orkut and Facebook at your service. Again, all you have to do is login and either write on our scrapbook or wall or plainly ping us your wishes and blessings. Don’t move a muscle and you’ve already attended half the marriage... :)

Now coming to the most important part of attending a wedding. FOOOOD...!! Well, when you did read “Gifts in the form of Blessings only” on my wedding invite, I meant, “Atleast in the form of blessings”... minimum condition required to be eligible for the marriage feast. If you didn’t read between the lines, it ain’t my problem... Strictly, food only for those who bare minimum wish us on this happy or may be not so happy occasion of ours. If we haven’t seen the wish, you ain't getting the food. And talking about food, the sumptuous feast will be parcelled and delivered to your doorstop by the caterers. Conveyance charges for the caterers to be borne by the invitees. Again, don’t move a muscle, avoid the rush, hog in the convenience of your four walls. :)

And last but not the least, all invitees shall be presented with return gifts in the form of online “Thanks for coming and being a part of this mess” cards, with the animated ones only for those who have presented gifts and the plain ones for others.

Well... well... well..., now coming back to reality, all of this above is just my wild imagination. But considering the age and times and of course as I mentioned first, the crazy people to have adorned this crazy planet, this looks very much a possibility. Who knows and who s seen...!!

God Bless...!!

Where is the Love

Raj wants love, seeks love, and craves for love in absolute empty space. Raj believes in dreams, believes in a dream girl, and believes in a dream romance, so much so that he lives in a dream world where reality is a myth. A sucker for love, attention and care. Welcome to the world of Raj.

This is just a chapter in the life of our man, whose life is no less than an out-and-out entertainment blockbuster movie, with its share of happiness, sorrow, hope, despair and every other word in the category of unreasonably sentimental words. This is when Raj has just entered his adolescence. Out of teens, like his eyes and senses on the whole got a complete revamp and ready to take life and love head on. So here goes an episode where Raj thought he could have found love.

Ria was a sweetheart anyone would fall in love with. But for Ria, “there was nothing greater than friendship in the whole wide weird world” or so she would make it seem. Luck by chance, or let’s just call it a dirty game of destiny, Raj and Ria meet up on a social networking site through stranger friend requests which had become a craze then.

Ria had initiated the stranger friend request sending a mail to Raj, letting him know that she found the lies on his profile really interesting. For Raj, there would have been nothing happier or scarier. Happier because hopefully he would meet the girl of his dreams (note that this is all he does, dream) and scared because this was a new, unknown and inexperienced territory as far as he was concerned. He had only had notions of having a love in his dreams. He had no idea about the reality bite. So with hope in his heart and shit loads of fear in his head, he decided to finally meet up the pretty Ria on a blind date.

Cut to the D Day, a cool Friday evening, breezy after a light drizzle, nearing twilight, he met up with Ria face-to-face. Well, to be honest here, he wasn’t blown away by her beauty because when his eyes met her face, it was dark around, power-cut. But this scene was a mere contradiction to what transpired when the place lit up after the ever-bugging power cut.

In Raj’s own broken expressions... beauty, never seen anyone like her before, fairy like, sexiness personified. Alright Raj, we understand. You ain’t never seen a girl before. But this was him and he was blown. Now all he wanted to do is get down on his knees and ask her to marry him. But soon, sanity prevailed and Raj was back to his normal, gentleman self. Projecting a big, bright, flash-bulb smile, Raj greeted Ria. They exchanged nervous yet supposedly happy greetings of “Hi”, “Hello” and “How are you” and got down to the business. Yes... EK COFFEE..!!

Considering how awestruck Raj was after seeing Ria, he let her do all the talking and was highly content listening to her angel like voice and the pretty little nothings being blurted by her. And Ria too, for her part had decided to put her best foot forward, mentioning every single crush and boyfriend of hers from the 3rd standard onwards till now and discussing how she felt love was over-rated and that it was all a time pass for her and how she believed that “there was nothing greater than friendship in the whole wide weird world” Oh wait.. We’ve heard that shit before.

There.... Raj had just received the first genuine shock of his adolescence listening to Ria and her pretty little bragging. He knew there was no chance he could find love in Ria, and if that wasn’t enough, she had gulped down a couple of cold coffees and munched a whole lot on the menu from the coffee shop and this meant, Raj would spend his pocket money for the whole month just to foot the frikkin bill.

Cut to post blind date, where Ria had left after a content hogging and bragging session. Raj... our man was left isolated and stranded in the middle of nowhere with pieces of his little broken heart on the main road with everyone from the auto wala to the Volvo leaving a mark on them. Raj was now confused and sad and of course most suitably “hopeless”. So the moral of this chapter, is not merely a moral but a question mark on Raj’s face. WILL RAJ EVER FIND TRUE LOVE...???